Child Support Check-up

I’m at the bestie’s house and I get a phone call from dude, “Uh, is my son back home from his trip? Cause if he is then We’re coming to see him today when I get off work!”  I’m sorry, but is this a declarative sentence that should have been an interrogative sentence??? (I may be teaching third grade next  year, gotta brush up on the Grammar rules).  So I pressed END.  Who talks to me like that and gets away with it?  He calls back…I pick up and ask him to rephrase his questions or else he will be listeining to Mr. DT again.  He yells back that if all his money is coming out of his check to take care of his son then he can call and do whatever the hell he wants to do!  My attitude changed…biiiiiiiigggg smile comes across my face  and I ask him, “Money is being taken out?” *still smiling* - ______ - 

“Yea money is being taken out, from the last three checks money has been missing!  So if  I say, blah blah blah... I don’t even know what he was saying after that, I was too busy looking at the calendar to see when how and how long they were taking money out.  The state was right, May 15 they started taking his money out. 

I hear him yelling something but by now I have the calculator and my calendar doing all kind of calculations.  This is perfect for me, because a teacher's bank account and those summer months have no kind of interaction going on...so that extra money from him would do me just right!!! I put my ear back to the phone and start listening.  His other son (who has this special love for my son that no one else can figure out) wants to come see his big brother.  I can't help it, especially being a teacher, my heart goes out to the little ones.  I give in...but in my own way...I yell at him telling him do whatever he wants, if he's gonna come by then he just needs to let me know what time he's coming.  In my sick and twisted head I already knew that my son wasn't at home and neither was I...and I wasn't going home anytime soon.  I was just gonna wait for another nasty phone call.  As long as that money was coming out of his check I could deal with nasty phone calls :)

But guess what....dude never called to yell at me for not being home...which ofcourse you know what that means.  It's nice to know that I'm right...but it's still so sad.

Back to the Child Support

Money was supposed to have been deducted out of dude’s paycheck May 15.  Needless to say, I still haven’t received anything.  I call the hotline and nothing…they contnually tell me that no money is in my account.  BOOOOOO Child support!!! Then I get a letter from the Court of Appeals stating that ___ ___ ___  has requested an appeal.  What makes it more funny is, dude has paid the $300 filing fee to begin the process.  LOL…you have $300 for an appeal (something that you could have done for free, had you just complied with the State’s requests), but you don’t have money for school shoes, which is what kicked this whole mess off.  Ofcourse, I’m livid.  I call the clerk to find out the details, because I’m panicked that I have to get lawyers and blah blah blah.  But God is good…because he didn’t comply with anything and the child support order was finalized, I didn’t have to do anything.  And because the jdugment was already in order, he still has to pay (until told otherwise), and the new court case was not against ___  __ ___  vs. Me, it was __ ___ __  vs. the IRS on behalf of me…get that!!! So basically, I don’t have to do anything, but wait and see what happens…in the meantime…when do I get my money? 

Pissed child support blog

So I'm at my parents house and my dad tells me that I have mail. Nothing important ever comes there for me so I wasn't phased by his announcement. I picked up the bank statements and sports illustrated offers and then saw a letter from "court of appeals". I haven't been to court so I'm not appealing anything. Instead...I find out that nigga (for lack of better expletives that I'm dying to use right now), has filed an appeal against the child support judgment. I'm checking the mailbox everyday because I'm waiting on my check. When this nigga had the opportunity to contest the prior judgments, he sat on his ass and did nothing about it. NOW he wants to file something? I'm sure you can imagine my anger right now. Premarital sex is a true bitch! Couple minutes can affect your life for the rest of your life

Commemorative Blog Edition of “The Break-up”

Eleven years ago today marked the first day of the rest of my wonderful life. That was the day that everything was officially over….and believe me everything was over with a BANG….literally a bang.
Here's the story:
About two weeks prior to our break-up, I had gone to his house late at night and "caught" him with another girl. Devastated, but not really, I'd ended things. I'd ended things with he and I…relationship wise, but as far as him being a dad, that was still in full effect. He had the baby every Saturday night and every Wednesday night because he was off on Thursdays. Being an 18 year old, who still needed to party and hang out with her friends, those were the nights that I chose to go out. Dude caught wind that I was dating again, and I used those nights that he had our son to go out on dates. The babydaddy knew that I was not one of those young moms to throw the kid on grandma so I could continue to be the normal 18 year old, and he knew that I only did my own thing when I didn't have my son…so the wonderful babydaddy/ex-boyfriend decided that he would not have his son sleep at his house on "his" nights, he would rather pick him up the following mornings. Was dude serious? Sad thing, he was dead serious. There go my nights…he was the one cheating and he's mad because I'm dating? Selfish, I tell you…plain selfish. Anyway, I had a seven o'clock class on Thursday mornings. I had to drop the baby off to his house by 6:30 and race to school. Dude knew my schedule, and knew that I get out of class at eight thirty. Nine o'clock came and I started receiving phone calls from him. I picked up and he asked me where I was…I told him I was at breakfast. Suddenly, dude tells me that he has things to do and he can't watch our son.
FIRST OFF….you're not a flipping babysitter that I have hired to "watch" my son while I go get my education. You are his father who knocked me up in highschool so no other dude would date me or want to date me! You are his father that should want to be with him on his days off so you can bond one on one with your son…You are his father who shouldn't consider it a privilege to be in his son's life, but something NORMAL to be a father to his son and to be active in his life.
I couldn't believe he was saying he couldn't watch him. I realized the game and decided to ignore him. I hung up on him and continued to ignore his phone calls.…at this point there was no reason to be calling me. Phone kept ringing. I had just got my brand new Ericsson flip phone and every time I saw his name I would "flip" that thing closed so hard…I used to love that flip phone. After breakfast I still didn't call back. Me and the new boo decided to spend the rest of the morning with each other, so I was definitely not going to pick up the baby. I decided to take care of other things and I finally made it back to dude's house at one in the afternoon. I didn't even make it in the house. It's like that nigga was waiting with his forehead pressed up against the window waiting for me to come home. He came out of the house and threw the baby in my arms. He went back in his house to grab the rest of the baby's things and proceeded to throw them in my car. He looked in my backseat and saw that I had several changes of clothes and then he peeped my cell phone. He tried to go through it but I had a lock on it. When we were together we knew each other's lock code for the phones, but since we weren't together anymore, and because I didn't want to be put in a situation such as this to have to answer any questions, I changed the code. He's pissed because he couldn't look through my call log (there weren't text messages back then, lol) and got mad because he couldn't unlock it. The devil must have taken control over him because this nigga threw my brand new cell phone on the ground and it smashed into pieces. I used to work three raggedy days at Publix a week, and because I had pampers and whatnot to buy for my son, I couldn't run to the store for something every time I felt like it. I had to save so hard for that little cell phone, and this nigga just broke it like he didn't know what I had to go through for it. I can't describe my anger I felt at that moment. Then I look, and he starts throwing all my clothes and shoes outside of my car….he acted like it was his car and I was doing him nasty. I put the baby down and ran over to collect my things. I also went to try and get his ass…I tried grabbing him away from my car, but come on, you know my size…especially back then…I wasn't gonna stop him from doing anything. He asked me where I was going changing my clothes. Crazy me done went and told this nigga that I was at my dude's house and wanted to take a shower before I went to work….oh hell…next thing I know, dude is choking the life outta me, in broad daylight, in front of his house, in front of my son. I started screaming, the baby is screaming…all the while, dude's father is in his room laid out across his bed watching TV like he did every-single-damn-day. I'm screaming for him to come out…didn't see him. I can't remember what made him stop, but he did…thank GOD. I realize this nigga has lost his mind and didn't even try to fight back. I grab the baby, grab up whatever I could grab on my way to my car and strap the baby in his car seat. He starts walking back to the house and starts yelling at me to take MY baby home and don't bring him back because he aint taking care of my baby if I'm gonna be tricking every day. Well, now the fear instantly turns into anger…there goes that bi-polar girl I previously talked about. That evil angel taps me on my shoulder and shows me a bottle on the floor of my car. Remember those THICK THICK THICK glass bottles that Gatorade used to come in back in the day? The ones where even if it dropped on the ground it would just roll, it wouldn't even break? Well, I'm glad my car was always so junky because this crazy girl had one of those bottles in the car. I grabbed it so fast and started walking to his vehicle. Just as I was walking, dude's father miraculously fills up the doorway, big self, and yells, "Don't do it…that car is in my name, don't do it." I looked at him and asked, "Didn't you hear me screaming out here when your son was chocking the breath out of me?" He said, "Yea, I heard…but that has nothing to do with me…that's between y'all two." After hearing that come from his father, I felt a bit of sadness for my babydaddy…with a father like that, how could he ever be a man of standard, honor, or integrity? That's another blog though…
Anyway…evil angel tapped me on my shoulder and told me I didn't have time to feel sorry for this idiot, and told me I had a job to get back to. I screamed at his father, "Since you wanted to stay out of that, then stay out of this!" He says, "Girl, I will call the cops on you so fast!" I merely said two words, "F*** you!" ~excuse me French~ But, I Bammed the shit outta that windshield so hard that the bottle shattered in my hands. I got in my car and prayed that those stupid two niggas didn't call the cops. If they did, I never got arrested, that didn't stop me from hiding out. I stayed out friends and aunts houses for about two weeks I was so scared.
Nevertheless, that was the last day of our relationship (with no relapses I'm proud to say…y'all know how a babymama/babydaddy situation can get), but eleven years later, we're still fighting!

Child Support Drama May 9, 2011

This past weekend was mother's day and I went to go see my son's great grandmother on his dad's side. We'd been seeing her regularly for the past couple years but of course, he doesn't know that. We went to take her a car, balloons, and a rose bush. This is HIS grandmother, but here I was bringing the gifts. He simply called…and he would call when I was there. Of course the grandma told him that I was there and his son was there also. He said to tell me, "Happy Mother's Day." Me being nasty, I told her grandma to tell him, "Kiss my ass." I instantly regretted it, but it just flew out of my mouth. The anger had generated from that Friday. He called my phone and laughed while asking, "Are you still waiting for that check girl?" I was annoyed and didn't feel like being bothered with peon's so I told him I wasn't able to talk and hung up the phone. Mother's day morning I received a phone call my friend. She said he'd written her on facebook and asked her to relay a message to me stating that ~ I wasn't going to get S__, and I need to keep it moving because I am a ____ and ____'s don't ___. I was pissed, I was, I really was. But I know who I'm dealing with, so I let it go. I told the grandmother that his child support papers had finally come through and he was supposed to start paying immediately which is why he is suddenly sooooooo upset with me and calling the whole world to play mailman.

I didn't call him, I didn't text him, I didn't acknowledge the stupid facebook post, and I had a wonderful day.

Monday morning…I'm at work and see I have a missed call and a voicemail. I checked the voicemail…Goodmonday morning to me…it's my babydaddy…instructing me in the calmest and most soothing voice one could ever hear, that I should STAY AWAY FROM HIS FAMILY. Hold on, I'm gonna listen to the message now so I can type it word for word. Here goes > (the typos are correct, I literally typed it word for word) " Um…I appreciate it if you just stay away from my family and S***. You know you go around my grandma…her old butt…you know what I'm saying…you talking about me, you know you doing nasty…but my people's don't like you man, they only do that because they don't see the baby…please man, just stay away from my family! If you wanna drop him off then you can drop him off to me and then we can go see my family, but that's just wrong. Just stay away man…he's 13 man…do you…"

Is he serious? If I didn't go see his family, he would trip about how I keep them away from my son...I admit…I don't do as much as I should or could, but I'm trying. So, by the end of that message I'm LIVID. I call him back, and tell him that if he wants me to stay away from his family then I will do so and not go over there anymore. He says, "Naw man…go see my family. I want you to go see my family…but he 13 man…he 13…come on man, he 13…" HUH? (I swear dude has got to be on something serious). Now he's yelling at me to go see his family. He's saying that he wants to be a father to his son but I kept him away and all he wanna do is bond and play basketball with him. He says that he will not step foot in my house because when he comes there all he can do is play video games because that's all that my son wants to do. He says that I need to stop asking my son what he wants to do with his life and his dad and DROP him to his house. He doesn't care what I'm doing or what my son's doing, I had BETTER drop him to his house so he can be damn daddy!!

 

OK!!! And that's all I kept saying…ok…ok…ok…he got tired of me saying ok and just hung up.

Child Support #4

So, we're supposed to meet up at the park, but dude texts me and tells me that he has to take his other son to Karate so we'll reschedule...I say ok.  Thursdays are my favorite days anyway, and who wants to see your "not-so-favorite" people on your favorite day of the week.  I was relieved...Waited for his call on Friday, but nothing...

Drama begins....

*Scene 1 - It's Friday evening and I'm at my parents' home. My dad asks me to guess who called him...doesn't take a rocket scienist...damn baby daddy...

Sidenote: Now that's just one thing I can't take...a damn snitch!!! You don't like me, you don't like what I say or what I do...and if you know me, I'm that type of chick that doesn't fall or conform to your BS, so you call my parents and try to snitch?  Come on dude!!!

*Scene 2- Bi-polar T emerges...reaches for the iPhone...scrolls down to "Dumbass" and calls...

*Scene 3 - Telephone Conversation* In the most annoying voice you can ever hear, "Yes Babymama" I really didn't expect for dude to pick up, but he did. 
I start yelling and wailing all in the phone, "Nigga, Why you callin' my parents?" (That's my term of endearment for him).

"I was just trying to talk to my son's parents", he says.  Ok, now the confused look is all across my face..."What are you talking about?  We're his parents stupid!"
He proceeds to tell me that from DAY 1, we have not been his parents, that my parents were his parents.  Granted, I was 16 when we had him and he was 19.  My wonderful parents did step in and assume a bigger role than just grandparents.  They allowed us to TRY and be parents, because at teenagers that's all we could have done, but I don't feel they stepped in and and tried to do anything that normal, good, and loving parents wouldn't do.  But Stupid doesn't see it that way....
He says that he just wanted to see his son, and he was just trying to go about seeing him....is he serious?  Weren't we just on the phone the previous day trying to make arrangements?  So I'm starting to get angry, because the same BS he's been spitting for the past 11 years is the same BS he's trying to start up again.  He's trying to make me seem so unreasonable and unapproachable about making arrangements to see our boy.  Is he serious?  (In the best white girl voice, which isn't hard for me) Like, I'm so not understanding his logic!!! 

First of all, he's calling MY parents...maybe he doesn't understand what that preposition MY means...did he really think that MY parents were really going to entertain his imbecilic (Why doesn't this blog have damn spell check) stories?  Does he really think that my parents, who have been there since day 1 to pick up the pieces where he slacked off, were going to side with him on any matter?  Get real dude!!!

He says that I did EVERYTHING in my power to keep him out of our son's life!  So, I guess that I didn't have the same house number that I had since high school...I guess that the house that he got me pregnant in is occupied by other tenants, I guess the townhome development that he passes EVERY SINGLE DAY TO AND FROM WORK isn't where I currently live.  Who does he think he's kidding??  Answering honestly, I said "Yes".  He was doing things and living a certain way around our son, in front of our son, and putting our son's life in retarded situations, and at 18 I feel like I made the best decision for my baby.  So I said, that yes, I did keep him away, but tried sooooooooo often to see if he grew up...He never did....to this day, he never did.  But only as 1/2 of the parent tree, I was only allowed to do as much as the other 1/2 allowed me...isn't that correct?  I think so too!!!
So I flipped it...I asked him, "Did you do everything in YOUR power to continue to be a father?" He wouldn't answer...Not once did he go down to the child support place to fill out paperwork.  Not once did he try to take me to court to get legalized visitation rights...Not once did he do anything!!! I continued to ask him the questions...He refused to answer...I rest my case nigga!
Can't think of a comeback to that...so he comes up with this..."White girl, you just mad because I left you for the next hoe!" (Now he's calling his wife a hoe...what a wonderful husband)....I'm like, "Dude are you serious?  Like are you really serious right now?  You've lied so much that you're starting to believe the retarded story that you've been telling for the last decade?"  

(BTW: It's been almost eleven years to that special day and I plan to have a special commemorative blog...so be on the look-out for that)


Back to the Scene...can't even remember which scene number this is...but in conclusion...

Once again, I realize that talking to dude isn't going to solve anything, help anything, or make things any easier.  At this point I think he realizes it also.  He tells me that he is going to go to court for visitation.  Once again, I tell him to right the Court Date in the memo part of his first child support check...and hang up.

And so far, it's been quiet...Stay tuned!

 

So this nigga sends me a text message this morning while I'm at work, " Looks like I'm back in your life, Lady, and i'm so gonna love it!!!" If he was in my face I swear I would have punched him right in his throat...but instead I just tried to kill him with kindness (or rather sarcasm, but he's too dumb to figure it out) and text back,  "Me too, have a good day babydaddy!" Twenty minutes later he writes back and says that he's gonna start to get his "daddy on" and come by my house...I tried to be nice, and take control of the situationm, so I  told him that I would call him...then I got mad...you don't decide when and where you wanna pop up...and frankly I don't want you in my house.  I told him that I would rather meet him at a park or someplace mutual.  I was not too keen on going to his house (if he even has one), so I opted to meet him at a park.  I forgot that our son was going to a friend's house, so he wasn't going to be there...I wrote #1 Daddy in the world and told him that the boy couldn't make it so we should reschedule.  He said it was cool, that we should still meet because he needed to talk to me.  Uh oh...What on earth do we have to talk about?  I think I'm like a dude when it comes to phrases like that.  Someone tells me that we need to "talk", I instantly turn into panic mode and disappear, lol.  But in this case, what on earth is there to talk about?  I wanted to tell him, "Nigga whatever you wanna talk about write it in the MEMO part of your check and call it a damn day!!!" But the sweet girl in me didn't write that...I merely said ok and I am now anxiously awaiting the argument that is soon to take place.  I'm gonna go pick up a Red Bull, cause I'm feeling a little sluggish...and this is one argument that has been long overdue and I want to give him all the attitude, sarcasm, and neck-rollin' that he deserves!